August 22, 2007


Dear Helen,
    I am a real fan. I have never missed one of your  columns. I like the way you talk girl. I’m hoping you can help me with a dilemma I am having. I have been dating a gentleman for three years. We have never talked about  marriage or even living together. We actually haven't talked much about a future together.
    My problem is,  I have recently met someone new. He has asked me out, but so far I’ve said no to him, but he hasn’t given up trying yet. He is very attractive and really nice. I have to be honest and admit that I  am interested in him. This said, I feel disloyal to the guy I've been dating.   I don’t want to hurt him in anyway.
    Helen, can you see if there is going to be a future with him ever?  Can you tell me if I should stay with the old or go for the new?  I could use your expertise in this matter. Please write to me as soon as possible. I need to know if I should stay or should I go. Signed, Pondering.


    My cards say you should have gone a long time ago sweetie! You call this guy “gentleman friend”, not your boyfriend, not your man, not even my guy, just friend.  I think you know deep down this relationship is just a comfortable friendship and nothing more. Trust  me, after three years and no talk of a future together,  I would not be holding my breath. So, the next time the new guy calls and asks you out on a date, say yes!
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Dear Helen
    My Mother has been ill for the past three years. There are several things wrong with her and they are all serious. I am very concerned about her future welfare and what can be done to improve the situation. She lives with her second husband but I’m not sure if he is capable of caring for my Mother in the proper manner that she might need.
    Should I intervene and get power of attorney and handle my Mother’s  affairs?  I only want what is best for her and I worry so much that she is not going to be able to handle making decisions soon.   I have a strong feeling my mother is gravely ill and won’t be capable of taking care of herself much longer. Can you see if I am right or wrong? Thank you for your kindness in this matter. Signed, Devoted Daughter.


    You ask me if you are right or wrong? Well, you are wrong. First,  I am not a lawyer just a reader my dear. I cannot (will not) give you legal advice. Secondly, Remember, your Mother has a (legal)husband. Her care and well being is his  responsibility. Remember the vow “In sickness and in health?.  Though your mother may be frail in body, my cards show that she is not weak of mind. If she wants help from you or to give you power of Attorney over her husband she is quite capable of asking you.
    When the time comes that you are called upon,  then, and only then,  should you offer your opinions along with your help.  All your Mother needs from you right now is to be a kind, loving, supportive Daughter . . . and Step-Daughter.

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Please send your Hand written letters to; Ask Helen Overend, P.O. Box 1129. Ridgeway On. L0S 1N0. Letter are kept confidential and answered in order received. I can be reached at 905-894-3263 for appointments. See you next week, the good Lord willing.